Barry, Barry, Quite Contrary
How Do Your Muscles Grow?America Online now has a blogwatcher (BLOGZone), and in it I discovered a link to a brutal but well-deserved screed against Barry Bonds by Tom McAllister:
Even after you graciously took time out of your schedule to let all of us know exactly what's wrong with us and what's right with you, I still harped on you. Now, your most recent press conference has forced me to look in a mirror and do some serious self-evaluation. I have been too hard on you. The media has been unreasonable to expect you to approach one of America's most beloved institutions with something resembling human decency and honesty. It's us, Barry, not you. We're the ones tearing your family apart. Last week you said, "I'm tired of my kids crying," pointedly jabbing at our own poor family values. I'm sorry that we didn’t look to you sooner as our bastion of family values; you, the man who plays a game loved by his father and godfather, and has blatantly cheated to surpass both of their statistical achievements. If only we had the kind of family values and respect you have.Wow.
"You wanted me to jump off a bridge, I finally did," you added. "You finally brought me and my family down. ... So now go pick a different person." I'm so sorry. I really am. I'm sorry that cynics will read the transcript of your carefully orchestrated press conference and wonder if maybe you're so tired and worn out because your drug-addled body has finally had enough. Or if you're walking away from the game because you're afraid that your body will finally betray you, now that you may not be able to get away with blatant cheating. During your second interview, you also, in an apparent effort to remind us that you have no tact or social skills, blurted out, "my balls are the same size they've ever been." Well, Barry, I wonder how true that is, since it escaped from the mouth of a massive man who was whimpering and running away from a challenging atmosphere that he's created for himself. Most cowards don't yell such things as they're running out the door. But you do things differently, we've always known that.
After this, I almost do feel sorry for Barry Bonds.
Wait . . . no, I really don't.
posted by Marsh @ 3:44 PM
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